Home Sweet Home
I’ve realized that these past few days, I really don’t want to be home anymore. I don’t want to live here. It sucks because I’ve worked so hard to be a good person & now living at home is definitely something I don’t want. I’m 20 years old, & to people, I’m sure I’m a failure, working a dead-end job where I hope to become a manager one day but I know that it isn’t going to happen because I’m not qualified & don’t have experience. I get paid very little & I work so hard. So moving out on my own doesn’t seem realistic at the moment. But I just can’t stand to live at home anymore. I love my mom with all my heart, she’s the most amazing female I know. My sisters are awesome too. I love them. My dad on the other hand…
I don’t want to say that if he were to die, I wouldn’t care, because I would. But I just don’t like him. After what he’s put our family though these past 6 months, I just can’t look at him & feel the love I did when I was a kid. It just doesn’t work. When he’s home, I can’t stand even looking at him. I haven’t talked to him in months now. To be honest, I really don’t want him & I to be in any type of relationship. It just… It’s done.
My mom is in the middle of looking for a job. Tomorrow she has an interview at the post office & if it’s a full time job, she will take it. Only problem is… It’s 3 hours away. I can’t move 3 hours away from my job & my life. I don’t want to stay with my dad either. So I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. My selfish, self-centered part wants that job to be part time & have my mom stay here in this area. But my other side which is the side I act on, is saying please let this job be what my mom wants. I want her to be happy. Here with my dad, that’s not happiness.
So idk. I guess I will figure something out. I just know I don’t want to stay with my dad. So whatever. Haha… :-/
Alexis Segura
you know what you a strong guy i say you must put your trust in GOD and you’ll see that he is alive he hasnt forgoten you and GOD will never live you so put your trust in GOD and hell eventually help you.
Sorry, but I personally don’t believe in God. I’m not religious & like I said, I don’t believe in God. Thanks for your comment though. I appreciate it.
WHY DONT YOU BELIEVE IN GOD
We are not able to choose our family. It is simply given to us, as a gift or a blessing if you wanna get religious. As you know, sometimes it does not feel that way.
You are 20 years old and that in itself is an accomplishment. You have many years of life to come- wether or not they are good or bad years is up to you. You can learn a lot from the situation you are in now, and if you dont want to look at it in any other way, look at it in this way. This is a lesson for everyone. Trust life…if not god.
I know you are not a quitter or a loser. When you talk about the things that you cant do it worries me. At one point you had dreams and now it seems like you dont believe in them yourself.
I was watching a preview of “The Pursuit of Happyness” last night and there is a part where Will Smith says to his kid “Dont let anyone tell you that you cant do it- not even me” and I thought to myself, that is a good parent. Someone who can admit to their child that there is a possibility that at one point they may not believe…because we all have downfalls, but is able to say “dont believe me when I say that”- thats great. I know its just a movie but Alex, life is meant to be lived, so live it.
I appreciate it. It just gets hard sometimes & giving up & just being alone has always been easy. But I understand. I honestly don’t believe in myself like I used to & I guess… I DEFINITELY need to change that. Thanks. I appreciate it.