Being Single…
Earlier today, I had this sudden flash of saddness. I don’t know why but it I just felt really depressed. A thought came into my mind at the time. It was the fact that I’m still single.
I’ve always been the type of person who always has wanted to have a boyfriend. I’ve always had a life plan…sorta. I dreamed of getting married by the age of 21. I’ve always wanted to be married & stay married for the rest of my life with the same person. I don’t believe in divorice. I think that is so unacceptable. That thought would never cross my mind.
But, going back to the subject at hand, I’ve been single for a long time. I haven’t found Mr. Right. It sucks because I know that if I can just find him everything would be just perfect. I’ve tired everything. I looked for someone, I’ve waited for people to come find me, nothing. It just sucks because I’m going to be 20 in April & its too late to find someone & get married. I lost out. And it sucks more because I know amazing people that I know I can see myself being with in the future. My friends are amazing. They really are. I love them all. But that’s not enough. I don’t just want to love my friends. I want to be in love with someone. I want to wake up in the morning & know that he’s taking care of me & I’m taking care of him. I want to be able to hold him & kiss him. Tell him I love him. Everything. I want that. And people tell me, it will happen when its supposed to happen. But how long do I have to wait? Honestly… I just don’t know. Sometimes I feel its because its my looks. Other times I think its the way I talk. Or the way I walk. Or the way I act. I don’t know what it is. I just want someone. =/ Idk. I’m lonely. I go to sleep feeling so alone. I hold my pillow & I sleep as if I was hold someone. Sometimes I dream that I’m holding different friends of mine. I just… I want to be loved. Truly loved.
Well, I think you are amazing, and I can promise you it has nothing to do with your looks. Everyone is different, I found the person I loved when I actually stopped looking. You have to be comfortable where you are, before you can be given more. Just slow down and appreciate your life, appreciate you and your friends, and that person will come.
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I think that you need to concentrate on you…yes relationships are wonderful, but you have to be okay with you before you bring someone else into the mix…things won't suddenly fall into place when Mr. Right arrives, that has to be done before he gets there…