a day in the life of prince_basil

So I have this friend. We kinda had this somewhat rocky friendship at first. Something that I wish I could change. But everything is all good now. Its actually amazing. He’s one of my best friends.

Well anyways…For a while now, I started getting this somewhat strange vibe from him. I never thought of him like this. He’s always been my friend. But for a bit of time, I’ve kinda started getting attracted to him. I feel very comfortable when I talk to him. He’s an amazing listener and I love hearing him speak. He’s crazy, he’s goofy, he’s unique, he’s himself. I love that about him. He can and will speak his mind and tell you how he feels even if you don’t like. I see him and I see everything that I’ve ever wanted.

 Well like I was saying, I’m very attracted to him. I feel like everytime I talk to him or think of him (which is all the time) or anything, my feelings begin to grow more and more for him. And right now I’m at the point where I don’t just want to be friends with him. I want to be with him. I want to be his everything. I want to hold him when he’s sad and laugh with him when he’s being funny. I want to kiss him when he tells me sweet little things. I want to argue with him about how Beyoncé is most definitely better the Mariah Carey, but I let him win because I’d do anything to see him smile. To me, he’s perfect.

I’ve never told him this. I’ve told him that I like him and that I hope I get a chance to be in a relationship with him one day, but I’ve always held back all this because I know in the past I’ve scared people away. But he makes me want to be a better me. He makes me want to get up and make myself look good (at least I’d like to think so) and comb my hair and put nice clothes on and just be a better me.

And the sad part is I probably won’t ever get that opportunity. Why? I just have a feeling that I won’t. I’ve very rarely ever gotten what I’ve wanted. And it sucks because I got to sleep at night and I hold my pillow and I wish I was holding him. I know that I’m always dreaming of him too. Of what life would be like if I were with him.

My life long dreams are:
1. Kiss/Make-out in the rain.
2. Cuddle with someone.
3. Hold someone/have someone hold me while we go to bed.
4. Get married/have a wedding.

I want to say I can see me & him doing all of those, but I don’t see us getting married. Not because I don’t want to. I do. But because my feelings haven’t developed that far. I would like to imagine myself being able to do all four things with him. Even just the first three. That would make me have a happy life. But (I hate to sound negative) I don’t think I’ll get a chance. And it gets me sad.

I guess all I can do is keep dreaming that he loves me the way I feel he does in my dreams and hope that maybe one day it can come true. =/

Prince_Basil

P.S. And just in case if you’re wondering if I will ever tell him. Well he’s one of my followers here and he reads my blog everytime I have a new entry. So he knows now. Haha. =/ Goodnight.

~ by prince_basil on August 13, 2009.

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