Oh boy…
So I think that I need to stop getting attached to people. I always seem to get hurt, and sometimes it just… I don’t know. I know I’ve hurt people, some of them don’t let me forget it. But I’m just… I guess this is my karma. Hurt people and I have a miserable life. I’ve always tried being honest. I’ve always tried being me and sometimes I feel like I’m punished for it. I’ve tried acting like someone I’m not and that totally didn’t work. I tried being someone I’d want to be with, that didn’t work. I tried being someone I hate, nope. Now, I’m myself. I’m someone I want to be. I’m happy with myself and I don’t seem to attract anyone that likes me. It hurts because this is me. I’m not pretending to be anyone anymore and now I’m just alone.
Now, this part is kinda hard to write because the person who I am talking about may read this blog entry and may upset him. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m just expressing my feelings about something and I don’t want anyone mad because of my feelings.
I feel like I always start getting attached to someone or start liking someone, something happens whether I annoy them or I become a daily habit and they get bored with me and I’m ignored. If I bore you or annoy you I would like to know. If I become someone who you talk to because its kinda a daily thing that is whatever like brushing your teeth or showering, tell me and I can either leave you alone of stop trying to pursue something that apparently isn’t there. Either way I’m going to be hurt and I actually prefer being hurt before my feelings grow and I become more attached. I guess that would be too much to ask so I just get ignored and hope I stop texting, caring, even bothering.
I guess it would be nice if all these thing could actually happen. That would be nice. But I know that I’ll get hurt more times in the future and I’ll have to deal with it. And I guess I should listen to my friend when she says, “If its meant to happen, it will, but if it doesn’t, then there’s a reason it wasn’t meant to be.” I’m sure she said it a little different but whatever. Same idea. I guess I’ll let you go now. Peace.
Prince_Basil
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thats life for you.