Pushing You Away
So lately I've been thinking about my relationship status. To tell you the truth… I'm single. Nothing that I was hiding. Just that when I think single I think of lonely and deressed. I feel unwanted and uncared for. And I know this is a little extreme but I feel worthless. I feel like if someone doesn't love me or if I can be with someone, I'm useless.
I've always had self esteem issues. I've hate many different parts of my body because they're not to my liking. And when I'm with someone, it makes me feel as if those insecurities aren't even there. Like they truely love me. I guess you can say I wear my heart on my sleeve and fall easily in love. I don't mean to. It just kinda happens.
When the relationship ends with that person I feel like its because I did something wrong or that he finally noticed all the things I was insecure about and decided to leave me because he didn't like it. And it sucks because I get my self-esteem boosted and later on it just gets knocked down lower then before. I don't like that feeling and I've never really recovered from it.
Another thing that I tend to notice is that I fall in love fast and expect the other person to do the same and move the relationship forward. For example: We go out. Two weeks later – I love you. Three weeks – I'm IN love with you. About a month, month and a half – I wanna marry you.
I just want marriage so bad and I think because I want it so badly that I guess I rush into things without noticing and end up ruining a relationship that could perhaps have had the potential to be more then just a little boyfriend thing. And I think that's why I'm single also.
I want a good man who can take care of me and be honest with me and love me and be IN love with me. To not be afraid to show his affection to me out in public for the world to see. Someone who would stay up all night just to make sure I got better when I was sick. Or who would risk his own life to save mine even though I wouldn't want him to. Someone who can be my boyfriend and future husband. And who doesn't care if no one in the world approves as long as he has me.
I know you're out there. I can feel it. And if by the slightest chance you are reading this, just know that I'm waiting for you. And I need you in my life to feel complete. You have the part of me that is missing and I want it back along with you. And I promise not to judge you, or make fun of you, or hurt you. I don't know you but I know that I'm already in love with you. I just need you to come with me so I can show you…
I guess I will let you guys go. And like I said mystery man, please come to me.
Prince_Basil
I love what you wrote.it was so honest.I used to feel the same way I would only say do not be afraid to be alone.work on making yourself the best person you can be.No man will take care of you. I can bear witness to that.There is someone out there for you.
Mystery Person: Thanks. I appreciate it! I don't know if you're reading this comment but I'm glad you commented. I hope you have a nice time reading my blog. Bye!
Bubz bubz bubz!! Please!You're a cute lil yung 'un. Don't get caught up in boyfriends and marriaage and dating. Don't hate yourself 'cos "HE" doesn't love you.Blimey. Be who are! Be all you can be. Be yourself for YOU!Seriously, f**k him, 'cos he ain't worth it. Believe me! You, on the other hand, obviously are.
I LOVE that you are open and honest about your life, however don't sell yourself short because of physical attributes…A better looking body won't keep a man and if does you need to reevaluate that relationship…So just be your cute adorable self and know that the right one will come your way…it is all about timing…
I absolutely fell in love with this post and I love how open and honest you are. Always be true to yourself, and remember that you have love yourself before anyone else can. Sure, you there are always things we have to work on, but you have to love yourself first.I promise that man is out there, and he's in even better than you can imagine, so take time for you, use this time to learn the things God has for you in the here and now, and when you're ready…that man, that mystery man will be there. I promise.