..march 1st, 2009..
So I’ve been kind of depressed lately. I’ve been really sad but at the same time I’ve been kind of happy. Like I don’t know. I’ve been feeling really alone. Like I don’t have anyone to talk to. But the reality to that is that I have people I could talk to. Sam who is an awesome friend. Darius who is also an awesome friend. Erica who is my bestie for the rest of my life plus 1. Jimmy who is such a cool, awesome friend. But I just can’t open up. I’ve always kept my feelings to myself. I’m the one who people come to to talk about their feelings. And I just feel like if I open up to people they have that against me to use whenever they don’t want to be my friend. I just always have had bad luck & just opening up to people is hard. And yes my friends have always been like, “You can always tell me anything.” But just, I’ve never been able to. And I feel like its all catching up & hitting me all at once. And I’m not sure what I should do. But I mean I guess I will try to deal with it like I always have. (.:alexis:.)
you sound like a friend I have…
Wow…you remind me so much of myself when I was younger. I was (and still am) the one people come to talk to.I used to have troubling opening up for fear of judgment and ridicule. Then one day it hit me. People are going to talk about me and have their opinions about me no matter what. Am I not going to live my life because of them? NO. I want to be happy. If they can judge and point the finger…hmmm they’re not real friends and you know what? I cut them off!You’re still young and some things you have to learn on your own. Hell I’m grown and I’m still learning! LOL